Sometimes, an otherwise pleasurable date can seem to go awry for no apparent reason. Here are the minor slip ups and mistakes which could be holding you back from dating success.

Looking over your date’s shoulder

Is there something fascinating going on immediately behind your date? Perhaps a waiter slipped dramatically on a banana skin, or George Clooney is sitting opposite Cameron Diaz and they are both wearing elaborate hats. Let it go. Looking over your date’s shoulder will come across as rude, and the person you are dating will feel offended and think you are not interested in them.

Talking about the ex

Imagine you move into a new house and discover it’s still full of the previous resident’s belongings – a bit of a disappointment and a lot of hard work ahead trying to deal with all that old baggage. This is similar to the feeling a person will get when dating someone who is still preoccupied with thoughts of their ex. Discussions about exes should be kept between friends, your dating partner really doesn’t need to know.

Dirty fingernails

When dating someone new, it’s important to be spotlessly clean. Dirty fingernails would not matter so much among friends or in a long term relationship, but on a first date they are off putting as they imply generally poor hygiene and are not very nice to look at over dinner. As with most dating tips, context is important if your first date happens to be an afternoon of strawberry picking, dirty fingernails will be less of an issue!

Not listening

Dating can be nerve wracking, and it often seems like the most important thing is to keep the conversation going and avoid awkward silences, whatever the cost. But trying to come up with something new and brilliant to say while your date is talking is a big mistake. On their side, realising the person they are dating hasn’t really listened to a word they’ve said will be frustrating. Instead, listen carefully to what your date says and make considered responses.

Fiddling

Again a common response to nervousness, constant fiddling or shifting about in your seat will make you appear distracted and restless, which is not a good look when dating. It can be helpful to put your hands on your lap or clasp them together to reduce the urge to fiddle, leaving your date to concentrate on more important things, like what you are saying.

Talking about work

It’s always interesting to know what someone does for a living. However, most jobs are filled with industry specific jargon and information which is so niche that it doesn’t mean anything to someone outside of the particular area of work. You might have spent all day compiling the ‘WENUS’ (Weekly Estimated Net Usage Systems), but your dating partner will probably never have heard of such a thing, and the whole subject will be lost on them. Be very wary about talking too much about your job, and try to keep the discussion to areas you both have experience in.